Ten Things I Would Never Do

Tory blogger and "A-lister" Iain Dale has launched a "Blog Meme" (Ten Things I Would Never Do) which has kindly been passed to me by Tiberius Gracchus of Westminster Wisdom (see Links). Some of the best have already been taken up: "...knowingly be sexist, racist, homophobic" (Gracchi), so long as sexism doesn't mean finding pretty girls pretty I'm on board; "accept that anyone was socialy superior to myself" (Skipper); "Have sex with a man" (Skipper), well, not knowingly, although they do say any port in a storm (that's a joke, by the way). Anyway here is my ten, rather less morally uplifting than most other lists:

10: Stop loving The Simpsons (Homer is my hero...).
9: Watch Big Brother, or I'm A Celebrity, or similar rubbish.
8: Read a "novel" by Jeffrey Archer (his Spitting Image puppet used to sit in front of a typewritter which had only 4 letters: "C", "R", "A" and "P").
7: Sell my bicycle (too much history...).
6: Become an accountant (I'd rather die).
5: Buy The Sun or allow a copy of it to cross the threshold of my house (It Shall Not Pass!!).
4: Stand up for or sing the British national anthem or show anything but contempt for the House of Windsor.
3: Cease to hate Margaret Thatcher.
2: Vote Tory.
1: Drink keg if there is a cask alternative.

One is supposed to nominate 10 other bloggers to list their 10. Most of those I would nominate have already been nominated; but of those remaining I nominate Dreadnought at View From the North; Elephunt at Impossible Promises; and Robert Jackman at Double Negative (see Links for all these).