So what was the April Fool story in The Observer yesterday? Was it the front page lead: that the Home Office is preparing to deport hundreds of Zimbabweans, including a teenager who exposed the sex-for-asylum scandal in the Immigration Service? Or perhaps the story that guests at Thornton Manor for the bithday party of Wayne Rooney's wag were greeted by "stilt walkers dressed as swans and jugglers in sailor suits"? Or perhaps the story that the chef at Alton Towers, asked about vegtables for children, replied: "We don't do things like that". (The chef at Milton Keynes Xscape adventure complex said:" There are no vegtables here. We're not that kind of place"). Or could it be Bob Kiley musing that he gets £3,200 a day for doing "in all honesty, not much"? Or the story that Patricia Hewitt repeatedly called Jack McConnell "Jack McDonald" on TV? Or possible the story that the BBC - which so far as I can gather is wall-to-wall Eastenders - is "too upmarket"? Or that someone called Abi Titmuss is to be given a small fortune for a book in which she will relate that she shagged "a footballer, a singer, and an actor"? There was also a story that Tony Blair is to return to acting (when did he ever leave it?) and appear in The Crucible at the Old Vic. But that seems far more plausible than these other stories. It can't be that, can it?